A Lucid Dream.

Uh I know. I said this will be weekly but I feel like I should write whenever I have time. I believe this will get better over time.

Last night I finally had a lucid dream. But ,I wish it didn’t happen. I experienced 6 false awakenings in a row. It’s not cool at all. When I finally woke up at 12:00 am, I was still doubting that this world is real. This thing is totally not good for mind. I’m really exhausted because of it now. But I’ll get over it.

I go to school now but I’m not really in the “MOOD” to learn anything. I’m not really nervous about the scores but I really want to know mine. Still couldn’t figure out what should I study, But I am thinking of astrophysics or astronomy. I’m in love with outer space and the universe!

Currently, I am isolating myself from everybody..people other than my family because I can’t avoid them. I don’t know why, I’m not mad at anyone but I feel really anxious! I think I need time for myself to reevaluate things in my life in general.

Who am I? Do I even know the answer? Does anybody truly know? I feel that there are more than one me. There is a “me” who talks to people online but most of times when I read what he sent I feel like: “this is totally not me! “ And :”Why the heck did I write this?”. Common issue I know. The next “me” is the me who goes to school and hangs around with friends, and Again in many times this is not me either, like seriously! And we have the “me” who is currently writing this. I’m not sure ,in fact not sure at all, but I feel this is the real "me", or at least  the one who is closest to my mentality. I might not be sure of who I really am but one thing I am sure of is : “nobody sees me in the same way. Nobody knows who I really am.”

I think I’ll change the way I treat people including the very few people I call friends. But as I said, I currently need to reevaluate things in  my life.

My teacher told me something nice today :” There is something really mysterious in you but It’s beautiful! This strangeness makes your personality attractive somehow. Whatever happens , do your best ! “

Song of the week : The starting line—The World.

Until next time.

Izz

11/FEB/2014

5:01 pm