94.8

So finally the scores of the winter semester were published on Sunday. And I got 94.8! Although it is really really good I'm not satisfied. Yes, comparing to many many other students my scores are good but I was really hoping and expecting more. Yet I'm very happy and proud of what I have  achieved.

Across the country the scores weren't good in general. Many have failed in subjects like Maths, Physics and English. So some of my friends have failed badly, some passed but got when others got some really good scores like me! Half of my classmates have failed and three of them got some good marks but I got the highest. And somehow some of them are treating me  differently.

It's like It's my fault that they got bad grades. They act out like I should've had failed. It is annoying a little but I won't let anybody control me or even decide how do I live my life.

Regardless of the stress, It was an awesome week! We had a party on Monday and many people came !

I have changed a bit. Although it has been a week but I think I'm starting to get the bigger picture of life.

I am so proud of my 94.8 but I should double the effort in order to achieve more. And to whoever is reading this : Do your best. Not because you should but simply because you CAN!

Song of the Week : Jadal-Ana Bkhaf men el Commitment.

Until next time...
Izz

19/Feb/2014
8:44pm

A Lucid Dream.

Uh I know. I said this will be weekly but I feel like I should write whenever I have time. I believe this will get better over time.

Last night I finally had a lucid dream. But ,I wish it didn’t happen. I experienced 6 false awakenings in a row. It’s not cool at all. When I finally woke up at 12:00 am, I was still doubting that this world is real. This thing is totally not good for mind. I’m really exhausted because of it now. But I’ll get over it.

I go to school now but I’m not really in the “MOOD” to learn anything. I’m not really nervous about the scores but I really want to know mine. Still couldn’t figure out what should I study, But I am thinking of astrophysics or astronomy. I’m in love with outer space and the universe!

Currently, I am isolating myself from everybody..people other than my family because I can’t avoid them. I don’t know why, I’m not mad at anyone but I feel really anxious! I think I need time for myself to reevaluate things in my life in general.

Who am I? Do I even know the answer? Does anybody truly know? I feel that there are more than one me. There is a “me” who talks to people online but most of times when I read what he sent I feel like: “this is totally not me! “ And :”Why the heck did I write this?”. Common issue I know. The next “me” is the me who goes to school and hangs around with friends, and Again in many times this is not me either, like seriously! And we have the “me” who is currently writing this. I’m not sure ,in fact not sure at all, but I feel this is the real "me", or at least  the one who is closest to my mentality. I might not be sure of who I really am but one thing I am sure of is : “nobody sees me in the same way. Nobody knows who I really am.”

I think I’ll change the way I treat people including the very few people I call friends. But as I said, I currently need to reevaluate things in  my life.

My teacher told me something nice today :” There is something really mysterious in you but It’s beautiful! This strangeness makes your personality attractive somehow. Whatever happens , do your best ! “

Song of the week : The starting line—The World.

Until next time.

Izz

11/FEB/2014

5:01 pm

First Post?!

This is probably my fifth try of writing such thing.I once Blogged but I believe that my old blog was just childish,but it was still a nice try.I tried several times to write a diary but I found out it wasn't really my thing.
The other day I wondered: "Why do people write diaries?".I didn't have any idea why,I mean nobody reads them but the writer and usually they never get published or released to public either.Then an idea crossed my mind.."I think I should write a diary.It would be nice if people knew about my life after years and years or after my death.I think I should even make it a book!".So I told my friend about it,she told me it would be a good thing and really cool.But she told me "Make it interesting!".
So this is not a diary as much of thoughts and things that come up to my mind actually.I'll be posting weekly not daily due to my full time, and also to have the chance to generate some awesome thoughts!
I'm mainly writing this for me to read in the future(far future I hope)and to people who are interested.Who knows!?when I become famous people might actually want to read this.

Currently I'm a high school senior(12th grade, Tawjihi). I recently finished the first semester and currently waiting for scores to come out.I'm not as nervous as mom for sure or even the rest of the population, I'm just really feel cool about it and hopefully waiting.
Nowadays I'm trying to figure out what I want to become after School and what should I study.It's really taking time and effort but yet wasn't able to make up my mind.I hope I find out soon.
I'm currently re-reading a book ,"The Secret" which is an awesome book who teaches you about your mind and feelings and how strong you are.And yes I think I finally started to get into reading.Yaay!
You are the only one who can make yourself happy.And you are capable of doing and becoming anything only when you believe in yourself and that you just simply can do it.

Until next time,
Izz


9/Feb/2014
6:57 pm